David Iserson Enterprises

Please allow me to unveil, Holiday Card 2009. Photo by the...

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 11:45:18 -0800

Please allow me to unveil, Holiday Card 2009.

Photo by the brilliant and talented Miha Matei (www.mihamatei.com.)

thedailywhat: Early Bird Special: What Has Been Seen: Pervy...

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 08:30:10 -0800

Early Bird Special: What Has Been Seen: Pervy dwarf Verne Brown has a thing for Elisabeth Shue/Jennifer Parker.

[via.]

Well sure, there is a downside to being raised in a time machne.

Tomorrow I will reveal my 2009 holiday card, and after spending...

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 23:00:45 -0800

Tomorrow I will reveal my 2009 holiday card, and after spending a very long day on it, I must say, it’s pretty great. In the meantime, this is last year’s. I’m also pretty fond of it.

The finale of Top Chef was last night and you know what that means… people blogging about the...

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 15:07:46 -0800

The finale of Top Chef was last night and you know what that means… people blogging about the finale of Top Chef. And I read it all. Here are my favorite two jokes people made while blogging about Top Chef about Eli and his mom. (Eli, who didn’t make the finals, is really into his mom.) These made me laugh but in three months, I won’t remember who anybody was in this season of Top Chef:

So, Kevin is pretty quickly told that he is not Top Chef. Oh well. His mom is there to console him. I hope she called Eli’s mom for some tips. She probably did, but the line was busy. Because Eli was already talking to her. (via)

Everyone is so happy to see their moms. I bet Eli is really pissed he didn’t make it to the finale now. But his Mom’s all, “Eli, why are you mad? I’m here with you now in the home we share!” And he’s still like, “Yeah, but it would have just been nice to be together in Napa with you.” (via.)

For my birthday, Allis took my favorite beverage, Ssips Lemon...

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 16:12:36 -0800

For my birthday, Allis took my favorite beverage, Ssips Lemon Iced Tea juice boxes and brought a case to the gourmet ice cream genius at Scoops and commissioned an original flavor just for me and fashioned it into an ice cream cake. It was incredibly thoughtful, but even more so, it tasted like an angel’s tears. Yeah, that’s what angel’s tears taste like.

That must mean he’s already dead. Or I keep misreading...

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 17:50:36 -0800

That must mean he’s already dead. Or I keep misreading that sentence. But, most likely he’s a ghost.

I don’t think this thing works. I’ve been staring at...

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 18:42:40 -0800

I don’t think this thing works. I’ve been staring at it all day and I haven’t been able to figure out how to get Harriet Beecher Stowe to take her top off.

Another year older...

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 11:30:06 -0800

But even though I’ve lived a nice chunk of a life so far, and learned quite a bit with each passing year, I realize today that there should never be a point where I stop learning. Because on this birthday, for instance, I noted that it took my whole life up to this point to learn that there are pitfalls to drawing a smiley face on my butt with magic marker. Most notably, it transfers to the toilet seat and it’s a real pain to scrub it out.

Without further ado, my top 20 favorite movie of the Zeros

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 18:48:57 -0800

I really like year end lists and I absolutely love decade end lists. It is fun to put things in order and be definitive about it. The best movies of the decade seems like a final cap-off to the year, but it’s a lot easier than say, my favorite foods of the decade.

I still remember the weird intangible joy I felt while watching Siskel and Ebert’s top ten films of the eighties. I’m pretty sure they agreed on number one and it was “Raging Bull.” I hadn’t seen it at the time but boy did a movie that came out in 1980 seem a long way away from late 1989. That was something I especially found difficult in writing this list. I didn’t want to favor recent movies too heavily but the early years of the decade were comparatively stinky for films and I saw a movie a week I think in 2000-2001. 2007 was a very good year.

I tried my best not to cheat, to put something smarter over something stupider that I liked more. I’m a little unsure about the order of the top few, but I think this is a pretty accurate picture of my movie enjoyment for the decade.

1. WALL-E

2. Amelie

3. Inglourious Basterds

4. No Country For Old Men

5. Spellbound

6. About a Boy

7. Shaun of the Dead

8. Zodiac

9. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

10. The King of Kong

11. The Departed

12. Ghost World

13. In America

14. The Lives of Others

15. Knocked Up

16. Let the Right One In

17. Wonder Boys

18. Downfall

19. Millions

20. The Bourne Ultimatum

I find myself flummoxed over the eventual name for the porn parody of “The Lovely...

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 21:51:54 -0800

I find myself flummoxed over the eventual name for the porn parody of “The Lovely Bones.” I just have this feeling they’re not going to land on the most obvious answer.

I know we said no Hanukkah presents, but…

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 11:38:03 -0800

I know we said no Hanukkah presents, but…

Don’t worry guys. The comic book store has it.

Sun, 29 Nov 2009 11:51:31 -0800

Don’t worry guys. The comic book store has it.

I put together some beets, burrata and heirloom tomatoes for...

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 21:01:37 -0800

I put together some beets, burrata and heirloom tomatoes for dinner. It’s worth mentioning.

My very talented and similarly named friend David "Dave" Anderson's very funny web series U.S. of Anderson is now live. I encourage you to be entertained.

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 11:37:22 -0800

My very talented and similarly named friend David "Dave" Anderson's very funny web series U.S. of Anderson is now live. I encourage you to be entertained.

Sounds about right.

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 17:26:04 -0800

Sounds about right.

Letterman is looking terrible.

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 13:54:49 -0800

Letterman is looking terrible.

Hey guest judge on Top Chef, while I respect your ability to put...

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 10:24:41 -0800

Hey guest judge on Top Chef, while I respect your ability to put meats inside meats (that wasn’t a double entendre but, instead, an appreciation of the thing he can do), let us not show off our undershirts while wearing a suit. There are two ways to do this—you wear a tie, which is not your style, or you don’t wear an undershirt. I was the U.S. representative at the international competition of shirt-buttoning. It’s as much about presentation as it is about buttoning your shirt.

When returning champions go back to more recent Bocuse d’Or competitions, do they lean back...

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 09:59:25 -0800

When returning champions go back to more recent Bocuse d’Or competitions, do they lean back smugly and say, “These kids don’t get it. In my day it was about much more about the lampchop woven into a hat.”

The Price is Right

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 17:42:20 -0800

I lived a block away from where “The Price is Right” is taped for many years. I even went to a taping once as a favor to my brother. (The experience was horrible. I wouldn’t recommend it. Plus, I was so grateful not to be picked because I don’t know the price of anything. When I have to go to a hardware store, I am never sure if what I’m looking for will be twenty dollars or twenty cents.) When I was interviewed before the show and they asked where I lived, I was able to point to my apartment and say, “Over there.” The students from an obscure Texas college in line with me looked gobsmacked and said, “You must come here all the time.”

Having lived over there, I learned a few things. Audience members almost always follow up their experience at TPIR by going to the Grove and Farmer’s Market next door and they almost always wear their name-tag out of pride (?) I also know that it is the show’s policy that you cannot put nicknames or jokes on your name-tag. Your name-tag can only say the first name that is on your ID. There are no exceptions to this rule apparently. And that is how, after going to the Grove yesterday, I discovered that there is a man in this world whose first name is, “Sir.”

(Image above is the first hit from a google image search of “Sir”. The man looked nothing like Winston Churchill, though I would wish to see how the Prime Minister would do on “The Price is Right.” Probably terribly as prices have changed since he has been alive and he is way more familiar with pounds than dollars.)

Will Phillips, a ten year old in Arkansas refuses to recite the...

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 09:07:26 -0800

Will Phillips, a ten year old in Arkansas refuses to recite the pledge of allegiance until gays have the right to marry. How can anyone not want to be on the same side of this issue with the most reasoned ten year old I’ve ever heard. And agreed, I too don’t know exactly what a “gaywad” is supposed to be.