I was researching bison burger recipes online and I of course found my way to Martha Stewart (because we used to date, but we’re still good friends) and she posted a recipe of famed bison-eater Ted Turner which then sent me to another link for further explanation for “Ted’s Special Spice Mixture.” Guess what it is? No, seriously, guess. No, you’re wrong. It’s salt and pepper. He then mixes it together, named it after himself, calls it “special” and makes me go to a whole other place to get it explained. “Step 1. Mix together all ingredients…” Ho. Ho. Slow down. Let me get a pen Ted!