"Makers of fine coats."

events/twitter/email/buy my book/novelty vomit

Jul 2, 2013 9:34pm
A comic about Penguin Random House.

A comic about Penguin Random House.

Jun 19, 2013 11:30am
buenoentonces:

Petardos (from French pétard), which means firecracker is also slang for ‘‘marijuana joint’. If you call someone petardo*, you are calling him or her ‘flaky’, or ‘troublemaker’. 

Example:
¿Dónde vas, petardo? 

‘Where are you going, you troublemaker/rascal?’

buenoentonces:

Petardos (from French pétard), which means firecracker is also slang for ‘‘marijuana joint’. If you call someone petardo*, you are calling him or her ‘flaky’, or ‘troublemaker’.

Example:

¿Dónde vas, petardo?

‘Where are you going, you troublemaker/rascal?’

(Source: buenoentonces)

May 22, 2013 10:01pm
twitterthecomic:


*bear in scrubs walks into waiting room*”Sorry to be the bear-er of bad news but I’m a bear and your son died cause bears can’t do surgery”
— Joe (@lazy_joe_)
May 12, 2013


Oh I enjoy this.

twitterthecomic:

Oh I enjoy this.

May 21, 2013 6:58am

grapesmc:

Chilling to a little new date music.

Travis was a frequent CD in my car 11 years ago.

Me too. The Man Who is the best.

May 18, 2013 4:18pm
I made a Firecracker movie poster. I had literally nothing else to do.

I made a Firecracker movie poster. I had literally nothing else to do.

May 18, 2013 7:34am

(Source: penguinteen)

May 17, 2013 2:38pm

Upcoming Events

THURSDAY, 5.23.13: LA TEEN AUTHOR READING NIGHT, LOS ANGELES, CA (Doors 6:30, Reading 7:00): Los Angeles Public Library - Central Library, Meeting Room A, 630 W 5th Street, Los Angeles. (w/ Jordanna Fraiberg, Kirsten Smith, Robin Benway, DC Pierson.)

SUNDAY, 6.2.13: SKYLIGHT BOOKS, READING, LOS ANGELES, CA (5:00): 1818 N. Vermont Ave., Los Angeles.

FRIDAY, 7.19.13: POWELL’S CITY OF BOOKS, READING, PORTLAND, OR (7:30): 1005 W. Burnside St., Portland. (w/ Kari Luna, Kirsten Smith.)

May 17, 2013 1:26pm

My Interview with Astrid Krieger

The author, drinking tea and waiting. (Astrid Krieger not pictured.)

I was scheduled to meet Astrid Krieger at a coffee place near my house at 2 PM. We hadn’t spoken since I completed FIRECRACKER, a book about her. I had been hired to collaborate with Astrid on the story of her past year. It turned out not to be much of a collaboration. Astrid handed me a pile of papers that included notes, but also included used gum wrappers, catalogues of illegal weaponry and many, many unflattering drawings of me (see below). I never heard from her again until today. Astrid showed up four and a half hours late and immediately began complaining.


AK: I absolutely hate coffee. You should know that.

DI: You could’ve mentioned it when we set this. We could’ve gone anywhere. And you could’ve still been on time. And I’m not even drinking coffee.

AK: What are you drinking? Tea?

DI: Yes.

AK: Oh, you’re so fancy and worldly. Look at me, I drink tea with my pinky out.

DI: I wanted to talk to you because the book about you just came out. Have you read it?

AK: Skimmed. It was all right. It could’ve used some pictures, just to break it up a little. Maybe a few prizes inside—like if you finish the book you get the book for free.

DI: You can’t sell a book that way. That way everyone’s going to get it for free.

AK: Most people aren’t finishing your book.

DI: I think they are, Astrid.

AK: You are so naive. You know there are services online that will read a book for you and then call you and tell you what it’s about? That’s what I did with this book. And, let me tell you, you could take some tips from this guy Tim who read the book for me. He kept his summary really snappy and to the point. I was done with it in like ten minutes max.

DI: It’s still a book about you. I think maybe you’d have some—

AK: I think what I find most ridiculous about it is that, yes, this is about me. My life, my story and yet they paid you, some idiot, a million dollars to write it. 

DI: They did not pay me a million dollars. Nowhere near that. 

AK: Hmm. Is a million dollars really a lot of money?

DI: Yes. A million dollars is really a lot of money.

AK: You know, I have no idea how much things cost. Quiz me.

DI: I had a question about—

AK: Go on. Quiz me. Ask me how much things cost. Ask me how much a gallon of milk costs?

DI: Uggh. Fine. How much does a gallon of milk cost?

AK: Three gold Krugerrands and a mid-sized slightly used sedan? See? I have no idea. Ask me how much a single family house costs…. Ask me… Is it $8? I have not a clue. So what did you spend all your book money on? I mean, after you paid for those glasses.

DI: These glasses are actually very inexpensive. I bought them online.

AK: Yeah. I can tell. We can all tell. You’re not fooling anybody.

DI: Okay, great. Glad you hate them. Let’s move on. How has your life changed since the events of the book?

AK: You’re surprisingly short for a person who isn’t eleven.

DI: I’m sitting down. 

AK: Would you like to stand up and prove me wrong?

DI: …No… Just answer the question.

AK: My life has changed because now I know you’re short and before I didn’t even know who you were and that time in my life was way better. Do you think they have fruit punch here?

DI: I don’t know. You’ll have to ask.

AK: Waiter! Waiter!

DI: I think you have to go up.

AK: Uggh. Perfect. This dump just keeps on sucking.

Astrid got up from our table to order a drink and then disappeared. I waited another half hour but realized she was not coming back. When I returned to my car, someone had left a full cup of red drink on the roof. Written in the dirt on the hood was a note. “This tastes gross. You can have it. -A”

 

May 17, 2013 12:12pm
A contest winner asked me to draw a “penguin on a pegasus” in her copy of Firecracker and I obliged. Does Penguin Teen need a new logo? (I realized too late, it’s not a Razorbill.)

A contest winner asked me to draw a “penguin on a pegasus” in her copy of  and I obliged. Does  need a new logo? (I realized too late, it’s not a Razorbill.)

May 17, 2013 9:23am
People buying Firecracker. #JackReacher

People buying Firecracker. #JackReacher

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